"Seriously, mom, I hate myself."
"Because. Also, I didn't work out today."
"Well ... you'll work out tomorrow."
"No, I won't. I'm great at wanting and meaning to. But I suck at actually doing it. And, I ate three cookies in ten minutes."
"That's ok. They're small."
"Not that small. Those add up. And now there's only one left and it's taunting me."
"You don't have to eat it."
"I know that, mom. I know I don't have to eat it. The problem is, I want to eat it. I should put the package back in the pantry so I can't see it. But I really want it."
"Well, really ... what's the point of putting away one cookie?"
[Pause.] "I love you, mom."