Boy crawled over to his diaper caddy and wrangled a bottle of baby lotion out of it, commencing chewing. I removed it from his hands. He crawled away and began to play with an actual toy quite happily.
Boy crawled over to the power cord for a floor lamp. I picked him up and turned himin another direction. He crawled away, once again perfectly content.
Boy found the universal remote lying on the floor and eagerly pounced on it. I took it from him. BOY BEGAN TO SCREAM. IN ALL CAPS. It was REALLY LOUD, I tell you.
I am now outnumbered. Also, doomed.