Sunday, March 15, 2009

How to tell if you're married to a nerd

  • He makes up jokes to which the punchlines go something like, "'Entropy?' I said, 'Enthalpy!!'"
  • He mumbles and pretends he's speaking Elvish.
  • He jokes about crackers looking like "lembas bread."
  • When you're kicking around names for your unborn child, he's only half-joking when he suggests Eowyn, if it's a girl. (Note: He's Persian and you're half-Vietnamese. Your child is not going to look like an Eowyn.)
  • Deep in the recesses of your junk drawer, he still has his Dungeons and Dragons dice.
  • He admits to having a back-up calculator at work in case his current calculator breaks.
  • His current calculator is the same one he's used since college.
  • He uses advanced calculus in his job on any given day.
  • He thinks you're sexy when you reference scientific phenomena, such as flash-boiling.
  • Your whole extended family (AND his) use him as IT support.
  • He can tell you the difference between steam, smoke and water vapor.
  • He points out power plants when you travel to new cities together, and can typically tell whether they are coal- or natural gas-burning plants.
  • People call him on the phone to ask him random trivia from the 80s, just because he has a mind like a steel trap and never forgets anything. (This makes for interesting one-sided phone conversations. "Hello? ... Gordon Gatrell. ... Bye.")
  • He started a chemistry club when he was a child (which met outside in his yard, right in front of his window).
  • The first question he can remember asking his mother is, "What state of matter is fire?"
  • He got a little sad during the most recent "Transformers" movie when Bumblebee was captured. (Oh, wait ... that was me.)
  • He has an Optimus Prime impression, which he's convinced sounds exactly like Optimus. (It doesn't.)
How to tell if you, yourself, are also a nerd:
Every single item above is endearing to you, and you wouldn't change a thing about being married to a nerd. (Plus, people are always buying you books for holiday gifts. And you love it.)

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