Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Cookie Monster mauled in attack, Ernie traumatized

"I froze -- I didn't know what else to do." -- Ernie

AP - Cookie Monster may not be guzzling treats for a while.

In a freak attack documented by the following photographic footage, Cookie Monster was injured and Ernie seriously traumatized in what some are calling one of the most lightning-quick crawl-by incidences ever witnessed.

Surveillance cameras captured the following disturbing images. In the first frame, Cookie Monster and Ernie can be seen quietly enjoying the day, with no idea of what is to come. 

Without any warning, the attacker makes a sudden move toward Cookie Monster. As the image illustrates, the suspect's speed is such that clear capture is impossible. 

Within seconds, Cookie Monster is down, struck in the head and neck with stunning force. Ernie, who escapes injury by the slimmest of margins, is frozen in shock and disbelief.

In this incomplete capture of the attacker, the carnage of the crime scene is easily visible. As the attacker makes his get-away, the next victim comes into view: a 30-year-old dog who recently moved into the neighborhood.

By all accounts, the attacker tweaks an old adage and prepares to kick a dog when he's down. 

In a prepared statement, Ernie shares:
It is with great relief that I report that my long-time friend Cookie Monster is mending in the depths of the toy bin in the family room, though his progress is very slow. Being there for him is where my focus is right now. It is my opinion that this attack was deliberately and personally directed toward Cookie, as the assailant saw me clearly and yet I was left without a mark on my person. I believe that, had the assailant ever before had a cookie himself, he might have found that he had more in common with his victim than he thought. I beseech family members everywhere to share cookies with their loved ones so that senseless tragedies like this one may be avoided in the future.
Cookie Monster could not be reached for comment.


dan said...

best piece of journalism I've seen in a long, long time. thank you for sharing this riveting account with the world!

Shorty said...

Too cute and funny! Thanks for posting!

screamy mimi said...

Oh wow. This is too good. I'm cracking up...the only problem is...now I want a cookie.

Christy said...

i am laughing so hard!!! you are talented girl!! :) and I LOVE that baby!!

RitaJeane said...

I cannot stop the laughter...and I'm at work...so I'd like to stop...but I can't.