At least I realize how ridiculous I sound.

These are first-world problem statements I've actually made or thought in the very recent past:

• "I wish this Starbucks was a drive-thru."
• "I hate that this antibiotic pill is so BIG."
• "I thought these flourescent light bulbs were supposed to last seven years! It hasn't even been two!"
• "So should we rent the 15-foot ladder again, or just buy one?"
• "Damnit, I bought fat-free Lactaid milk. I meant to buy the 2% kind."
• "This Uncrustable [frozen PB&J sandwich] is taking forever to thaw."
• "I guess it's time to do the 'pre-cleaning' before the cleaning lady gets here."

Seriously ... it's embarrassing.