- I always wear my seat belt, even if I'm just moving my car so my husband can pull his out of the garage.
- I read the directions that come with IKEA furniture, microwave frozen dinners and LEGO toy sets.
- I have never seen or touched pot. No idea what it's even supposed to look like. Totally serious.
- I sort laundry and read the washing instructions on tags.
- I can never fully enjoy getting a massage because I always feel guilty that the therapist has to work so hard.
- I've never skinny-dipped, been drunk or snuck into anyone's yard to jump in their pool.
- I never, ever check my microwaved meals with a food thermometer when the instructions say, "Food should be fully cooked, and should reach an internal temperature of 160 degrees."
- I don't floss regularly.
- I will eat leftover sandwiches that I forgot to put in the fridge the night before.
- I'll drink milk one or even two days past the expiration date on the carton.
- I regularly drive five or ten miles above the speed limit when on highways, if it's with the flow of traffic, and seems relatively safe.
I don't think that second list makes the point I thought it would.