Thursday, December 10, 2009

The many sides of ME. Or maybe just the one side.

Ways in which I'm a buttoned-up prude:
  • I always wear my seat belt, even if I'm just moving my car so my husband can pull his out of the garage.
  • I read the directions that come with IKEA furniture, microwave frozen dinners and LEGO toy sets.
  • I have never seen or touched pot. No idea what it's even supposed to look like. Totally serious.
  • I sort laundry and read the washing instructions on tags.
  • I can never fully enjoy getting a massage because I always feel guilty that the therapist has to work so hard.
  • I've never skinny-dipped, been drunk or snuck into anyone's yard to jump in their pool.
Ways in which I live dangerously:
  • I never, ever check my microwaved meals with a food thermometer when the instructions say, "Food should be fully cooked, and should reach an internal temperature of 160 degrees."
  • I don't floss regularly.
  • I will eat leftover sandwiches that I forgot to put in the fridge the night before.
  • I'll drink milk one or even two days past the expiration date on the carton.
  • I regularly drive five or ten miles above the speed limit when on highways, if it's with the flow of traffic, and seems relatively safe.
Wait.

I don't think that second list makes the point I thought it would.

3 comments:

Sarah said...

I'm with you on five of six of your "buttoned-up prude" list... I'll leave my exception as an exercise for the reader. :-)

I never sorted laundry or read tags until Stuart came along. Now I compulsively sort, properly launder and carefully fold his clothes, and barely remember to wash my own. Priorities, huh?

Mike said...

(@Sarah - Okay, now you've got me thinking....)

Okay, let's see:

* I always wear my seat belt, even if I'm just moving my car so my husband can pull his out of the garage.
[Same here.]

* I read the directions that come with IKEA furniture, microwave frozen dinners and LEGO toy sets.
[Yes, yes, and yes. I'd be hopeless in IKEA-land without pictures, and even then, I sometimes have to call in help for orienting myself to the pictures.]

* I have never seen or touched pot. No idea what it's even supposed to look like. Totally serious.
[Remind me to tell you sometime about the time I went to a coffee shop in Amsterdam. For a *cup of coffee*.]

* I sort laundry and read the washing instructions on tags.
[Yes, and I do now. We made a point growing up of only having clothes that were machine wash (warm or cold, always washed in cold) and tumble dry low. My life is more complicated now - some things are line dry or dry flat, others can be tumble dried but we hang them anyway to avoid shrinking, and so forth.]

* I can never fully enjoy getting a massage because I always feel guilty that the therapist has to work so hard.
[Really?]

* I've never skinny-dipped, been drunk or snuck into anyone's yard to jump in their pool.
[Ah, good times. It was something of an annual tradition for the seniors in my college.]

Ways in which I live dangerously:

* I never, ever check my microwaved meals with a food thermometer when the instructions say, "Food should be fully cooked, and should reach an internal temperature of 160 degrees."
[They sell microwave meals that are partially cooked? But no, not with the microwaved food. I've been known to spear boiling ravioli with a thermometer, though.]

* I don't floss regularly.
[um, guilty.]

* I will eat leftover sandwiches that I forgot to put in the fridge the night before.
[okay, that heebs me out. Well, it depends on the sandwich. Not if it involves meats or cheese. Peanut butter may be okay.]

* I'll drink milk one or even two days past the expiration date on the carton.
[Only in a pinch.]

* I regularly drive five or ten miles above the speed limit when on highways, if it's with the flow of traffic, and seems relatively safe.
[Guilty. Very, very guilty.]


Great. Now it's like a game of "Never have I ever" in your comments. At least, without the (public) drinking. ;)

Devon said...

Working in the food industry was eye opening and I must say that indeed you are living dangerously by eating something not properly stored. Don't make me get all food safety on ya! And do you thaw meats on the counter top? Tisk Tisk

And I think I can say I am "Liberal Lucy" compared to you "Conservative Connie". But I do wear my seatbelt!