Wednesday, January 07, 2009


Dear Internets,

I miss you. I'm sorry. 

Where have I been, you ask, and what have I been doing? Hm. I know what I haven't been doing. That includes sleeping well, eating well, relaxing, or working out. Yech. I feel like more of a lump just typing all that. I guess what I have been doing is lots of baby care (um, like LOTS) and visiting with family. Which is great, and which I love, but which doesn't leave much time for anything else. 

I've also been doing a fair amount of moping, Internets -- I can't lie. I feel like I'm letting down a lot of people I love, and I'm not used to that. And it's been hard to find a way out of that muck, and I dwell on it too much instead of brainstorming ways to NOT let them down. So I've been a little blue.

But you know what they say about the new year -- it's a fresh start, a clean slate, blah, blah, blah. And as banal and trivial as that sounds, maybe there's something to that. I'm not making any New Year's Resolutions -- those are too easy to forget about, and dismiss as "oh, I guess those didn't last very long, did they?" Instead, I'm making some vows to myself. Sounds silly, but it's time I took a long hard look at what I want to be, and put myself on my own list of priorities so I can get there. So I vow 1) to take care of myself (I am historically crappy at this), 2) to ask for help when I need it (this is huge for me), and 3) to let go of the things I can't control (also huge). 

I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, I also vow to correspond with you more often, Internets. I liked November for our constant conversation, and I want to do better. 

So get ready to hear from me. I can't promise it will always be riveting, but it WILL always be real.


And that's as much a request as it is a sign-off.

1 comment:

Shorty said...

All my best to you, friend. You definitely have to begin taking care of yourself first. Look at it this way, how is it possible to take the best possible care of others if you don't start with yourself? Living by example is such a good rule of thumb. Start small and work your way to bigger things, but no matter what, tell yourself you deserve great things, you deserve to feel good about yourself, and you deserve to be your first priority.