The only thing missing was the pink polo shirts

Ways in which a one-year-old's birthday party is a lot like a frat party:

1. Bottles are passed around liberally.
   
2. Someone's guaranteed to crap his pants.
   
3. Your floor may have throw-up on it at some point.
   
4. The salty food runs out early, while there's too much dessert left.
   
5. At least one guest shows up in pajamas.
6. The guest of honor ends up getting called a lot of names. (How different is "stinker" from "a**hole," really?)
7. It's a lot wilder than it was in your head when you planned it.
   
8. Everyone's sweating.
   
9. Party guests may disappear for hours at a time.
   
10. Some girl is gonna cry.